Being gay or lesbian in the South Asian community can be challenging. I couldn't bring myself to tell my family that I'm gay because it would cause them heartache, humiliation and there is a possibility they may disown me. Also, I fear they wouldn't understand, because I am not a stereotypical gay girl. And now, well, I'm married. How on earth will they understand now?
I believe I had 3 options:
1. Stay single
2. Get married to a straight man
3. Get married to a gay man in a similar situation - MOC (marriage of convenience)
If I stayed single, my family would continuously be on my case looking for a suitable match for me. They would be heartbroken and I would probably end up living with my parents forever.
I could never marry a straight man. It would be wrong on so many levels. I couldn't pretend to be in love with someone, it's immoral. Not only that, I would probably become depressed over time and live an incredibly sad and empty life.
Doing an MOC with a gay man seemed to be a good solution to my dilemma. This way my family would be happy that I got married, and my husband would know exactly what he's getting into. Ohh, but the heartache I suffer now is immense...did I make the wrong decision? I'm still figuring this out...
